love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
