cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
