We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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