for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
