He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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