I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it was like eating out sand paper
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My vagina is officially offended.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
