At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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