i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
