I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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