That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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