At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
