Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
