I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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