What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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