3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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