paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
