I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
