Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
