why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
