no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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