Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
