There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
