K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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