You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize