Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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