That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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