evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
