Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
