that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
