Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
