and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sober January is a disaster.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
