you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
