Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
