these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
