You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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