you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize