My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
