everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
