We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
