she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
