I can't watch pbs sober anymore
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
