screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
