you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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