Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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