I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
