i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
