I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
