I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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