Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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