You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
