After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
