Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
