you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
