Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize