I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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