if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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